Sal's ➶ ⋆˙⟡

Tuscany

My wife and I recently escaped to Tuscany together for ten days with no kids. Most parents of young-ish kids will appreciate this as a rare and profound opportunity.

We stayed three nights in Florence, three nights in the countryside at an agriturismo (an Italian farm stay), and then two nights in Manarola in the Cinque Terre before heading back to Florence to fly back home to Oregon.

It was magical for a few reasons. First, Tuscany is as beautiful and romantic as the tropes insist. The countryside was especially wonderful. Any sense of stress or anxiety melted away against the views and serenity of the place. We did a cooking class one day, a bicycle tour the next, and a wine and olive-oil tasting after that. And side from those things, there were no time pressures or logistics to manage, no kids to entertain.

Second, on that note, this was the longest we’d been away from our kids, ages 9 and 12. We did one other no-kids trip a few years ago for five days. Other than that, we’ve been full-time parents for the past 13 years. And while being a parent of two relatively healthy kids is a blessing and a privilege, getting some time to ourselves as a couple was so good.

In some ways it was like a second honeymoon, and in some ways it was better than that. We’ve come far together since getting married 14 years ago. We share a level of comfort and understanding now that we didn’t have back then. It took all these years of ups and downs together to build.

So, we had the excitement, freedom, and adventure of a honeymoon combined with the trust and connection of a long-term marriage. It was sublime.

In the midst of our trip, some good friends of ours were finalizing their divorce. The freshly-ex husband was texting me in an emotional shambles. My wife wondered how many marriages might be saved if more parents were able to get this sort of time away together, even if it’s just to a motel the next town over. It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Three cheers for my mother-in-law, who suggested the idea and took the heroic duty of watching our kids for ten days.

Anyway, in case it wasn’t clear, I recommend (a) escapes with your spouse and (b) Tuscany.